Last week, I gave a detailed account of the first half of my revisions process - the fun and creative but sometimes arduous task of making sure the actual story is just right. Plot and character development must be nailed down before I waste time on anything else. After all, it's in that phase where I make the most profound changes and there's no use spending a lot of time on perfecting the words of a sentence or a whole paragraph that might not be there later.

We left off with my WIP in the hands of my first round of critique partners, who are reading my story for plot and character arcs. Hopefully, their feedback is easy to address. Unfortunately, it not always is. Sometimes I need to put more work into the story's structure, which I do in the next round of revisions (we're on the third round now). While I'm doing this, I'm also making sure that I'm satisfied with where chapters end, re-analyzing the need for each scene and even paragraph. By the time I'm done with this round, every paragraph, scene and chapter must serve at least one purpose, but the more, the better.

Now I get into revising the actual writing, including a round of working solely on dialogue and another solely on descriptions. I know the theme of the story by now and revise words and tone to serve and support that theme the best way I can. Some descriptions need to be changed to "showing" rather than "telling." Some need to be enhanced, while others need to be down-played - sometimes what a character is wearing or what a room looks like is important, but sometimes not and saying so only disrupts the scene and distracts the reader.

Dialogue needs its own round. In that first draft, I wrote what the characters needed to say to each other, sometimes in their "voices" but sometimes in my own. In this revisions round, I make the words belong to the characters, rather than me, adding in body language and working on tags, as well. I also analyze whether the characters actually need to say the words or if there's another, better way for them to communicate their message.

After this fourth round, I send the manuscript off to the first set of beta readers, because by now I need to know that readers enjoy the story. When their feedback comes to me, I usually have a particular scene or two that needs work, or a character that needs more development. I clear up anything betas found confusing or where they didn't experience the emotional effect I'd hoped for. Also, I'm constantly working on the writing now. Every time I go through the WIP, I find ways to improve the writing. Then it goes off to the second round of critters.

I choose these critters because they know how to turn a "good" sentence into a beautiful one. They point out awkward phrasing, show me how a few word changes can make a description pop, and frequently tell me, "you can do better." They notice when a paragraph is too stilted or too long-winded, and if it's the proper rhythm for the mood I'm trying to set in that particular passage. They also give feedback on everything else, as well, but the writing is their main focus.

With their notes, I go through the manuscript once again (see how you can become so disgusted with and also too close to your own work?), polishing, polishing, polishing. Every paragraph, sentence and word is considered, and if necessary, rewritten. This is when I try to make the writing shine. Then my second round of betas get to read it, hopefully in its almost-final phase.

By the time betas return their comments, I'm at the point where I'm beginning to hate the book. I see that it still needs work, and I know there are way too many "that's," "was's," "it's," "just's," and the dreaded saw, heard, felt, realized, decided, etc., even when I've been careful to eliminate every one I'd come across in previous rounds. I want to throw the whole computer out the window and run far, far away. I'd rather yank every nose hair from both nostrils than go through the stupid, mother-@#$@##@ing, piece of $#%) story again.

But I do it.

And when I'm done? I love the story. I love the characters. I want to hold them and hug them and pet their hair. I know I've written the absolute best book I possibly could at this particular point in my career. So off it goes to the line editor, who may pick apart a few things, but I'm okay with those because I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Once I'm done with those fixes, I'll give it another read-through just to make sure there's nothing else I want to change (well, there's always something, I still want to fix things in every book I've published, but at some point we have to call it "done").

Then the proofreader gets it, returns it, I make the fixes, and YES!!!! I'm done. I'm ready to hit the Publish button. Well, not really - there's still the whole formatting process, but the book is written, I'm proud of my new baby, and I can't wait to share it with the world.

Until it's actually in the world, anyway. Then the nerves set in, and I start second-guessing every decision I made during the revision process. Will they like that new character? Should I have kept that one scene in? Was that dialogue line as funny as I thought it was or could a newborn have said it better?

What? You didn't know that being a writer requires a certain level of neurosis? Well, if you don't have it, you're not made for this life. *wink*

Next time, I'll try to share some tips and tricks for how to make all this work, especially in a tight timeframe. I also plan to list some of my favorite books either next time or the one after that - books all writers should read and study and will help you through the planning, drafting and revising processes.

Questions? Please ask!

Playing With Cards - The Creative Part of Revising

Last time, I gave a step-by-step rundown of my revision process and explained how I "use" (that sounds so bad) alphas, betas and critique partners. Now, we can begin breaking the process down, starting with the first few rounds of revisions. These rounds are both fun and painful at the same time.

They're fun, because I'm still in the creative part of the process. There's still a lot of new writing going on and I'm coming up with new ideas for plot twists, suspense thickeners and character development. They're painful because it means chopping up what I'd once thought was a masterpiece and putting the pieces back together, sometimes trashing some while also trying to figure out how to weave those new things into something that already exists.

Building a house from the ground up and making it the way you want it is easier than taking an existing home and trying to remodel with the walls, ceiling and infrastructure already there. Removing a wall isn't so easy when you discover it's holding up the second floor or the roof. We're going through a remodeling project right now and even demolition isn't as fun as it looks because you don't want to do irreperable damage.

Same goes for your WIP, which is why it's easier if you don't completely pants your way through the first draft (write by the seat of your pants with no outline). A little planning of at least where your outside walls, roof and main rooms go before you start reduces the stress and pain of having to move any structure points later. I learned this the hard way, having pretty much written both Promise and Purpose by the seat of my pants. When I do at least a basic outline that follows good story structure, revisions are less painful.

However, unexpected twists and turns come up while writing the first draft that cause the original outline to be pushed under a pile of new notes, never to be seen again. I have a better structure than I did if I hadn't outlined at all, but it still needs work. So, even if I did actually outline the book before writing, in the first few rounds of revisions, I'm working on the structure - the plot and character arcs.

As soon as I finish the first draft, I start analyzing it for improvement. Actually, when I first finish the draft, I whoop and holler, do the happy dance and swear it's not only the best thing I've ever written, but the absolute best thing ever written in the history of the entire freakin' universe. It's a damn masterpiece that no one ever will be able to top. Ever. Then the next day, I start reading this brilliant piece of genius and realize, well, um, yeah ... it's crap.

It's for this reason that many authors will tell you to put the WIP aside for at least a couple of weeks so you can come back to it with fresh eyes and mind. Let it stew for a while, or work on something else, so you can be objective when you get back to it. I've tried this. It's too soon in the process for me to do so.

I need to immediately read what I just wrote. I need to remain immersed in that world and maintain that connection with the characters. By the time I get to writing the end, I don't always remember everything that was in the beginning. If I wait to do this step, when I start up again and I'm reading it for the first time, I won't necessarily remember exactly how the ending went down on paper. I lose that continuity, which leads to adding an extra round of reading/revising - once to familiarize myself with the entire story and then again to actually make notes and figure out what needs fixing.

After one night of celebrating, I get back to work. Usually, I'll print out a hard copy of the manuscript, grab my purple pen and go to a different room of the house. I'll review any notes I've made while writing the draft to remind myself of fixes I already know I want to make (when I'm writing, if an idea occurs to me that's not a quick fix, I'll jot it down to put in later). Then I'll read through the entire draft, writing notes all over the pages, in the margins and on the backs.

Reading the story beginning to end allows me to make notes where I was inconsistent, dropped a ball I'd thrown in at the beginning but forgot to catch later, completely left a plot line out that needs to be in there, etc. Now that I know how the whole story goes, I can see how it can be better, so I'm also taking notes on those areas. Basically, in this round, I'm putting in everything I'd meant to originally, but had messed up in the heat of the draft, as well as adding any new ideas.

If I feel good about these changes, I'll get to work, starting at the beginning and going through the entire manuscript, working on these plot and character improvements. If I'm stuck, especially on a major plot point that must be fixed before anything else can be figured out, then I'll let my alpha start reading so she can help me brainstorm a solution. But I'm usually still working while she's reading. When I'm done with this round, I'll definitely give it to her, although, again, I keep working while she has it. Unless I do need her help, her purpose at this point is to cheer me on.

In the next round, I go through the revised MS and make note cards for each scene. Sometimes I'll do on paper cards, sometimes I'll do in Scrivener (if it's not already in Scrivener, which sometimes it is if I did really good outlining ahead of time). I write down a note about the scene so I know which one it is, which characters are in it, the conflict and the purpose of the scene. The best way to do this is using different colors for primary plot, secondary plot(s), and different character arcs. If I'd already done this in Scrivener, I'll revise them because things have certainly changed since the outlining stage.

Now comes the tricky part - deciding which scenes stay, which ones go, what needs to be added and the order of the scenes. I'm a firm believer that the first things that come to mind in the outlining and drafting phases are the most obvious, most banal and cliche and make for a mediocre (at best) or boring (at worst) story. I learned this from Donald Maass and his book, Writing the Breakout Novel. We should question ourselves on everything because with more thought and imagination, we can usually come up with something even more spectacular than our initial idea.

In the first round of playing with my cards, I analyze each one, asking myself if that scene serves at least one purpose to the plot. If it doesn't move the story along or serve a very important purpose that no other scene can do, it needs to go or be combined with another scene. I also play the what-if game with each scene, asking myself, "what if I made this tragedy even worse by doing such-and-such" or "what if that didn't happen at all - how would she react?"

If the scene stays (with or without revisions), the card goes into the keeper pile. If it needs to go, it gets tossed to the side (I never throw away, though, virtually or physically, just in case I change my mind). If two scenes need to be combined, they get clipped to each other and together they go into the keeper pile.

Now, I take the keeper pile and analyze whether the scenes are in the right order. I'll ask more what-if questions - what if he did this before doing that rather than after, what if this was actually the cause to that other thing, etc. Sometimes, I'll shuffle the cards and see what kind of new order of events comes up. I've learned the hard way not to change the order of events too much because usually the first draft is pretty close to the right order - the causes and effects happened organically, which you don't want to mess with. But sometimes, the original order just doesn't work. Or you forgot a scene, which throws things amok. And oftentimes by doing this, even if I keep everything in their original order, I get new ideas for how to ruin my characters' lives and make the story better. For any new scenes that need to be added, I create a new card and put it in its place in the pile.

Once I feel good about my main plot line, my subplots, and my character arcs, my cards are in the order of how the story should be told and I've made any necessary notes. Starting with the card on top (the opening scene), I start rearranging the WIP document accordingly, moving, deleting and adding scenes, while smoothing out awkward transitions and such as I go. By the time I'm done with this round, my plot and character arcs should be pretty much nailed down.

But I want the opinions of other, very smart people, especially those I know who are awesome with plot and character development. So the MS goes off to my first round of critique partners, and this is when I try to let the book stew in my mind without actually working on it until the feedback comes in. This allows me to consider their feedback objectively and also to have a fresh brain when I go back to the WIP for the next round, which we'll discuss next time.

Does this make sense or is it clear as mud? Please feel free to ask questions in the comments.

My (Ideal) Revision Process

Mention the word "revisions" around a group of writers, and you'll get a mixed chorus of "ugh!" and "squee!" It's true - some writers hate revisions while others love them. Those who hate them say they prefer the creative part of the process and hate getting bogged down with the technicalities of grammar and sentence structure and rewriting the same sentence 23 times before getting it exactly right (only to end up deleting it in a later round). Others say they love giving their stories that beautiful polish, knowing that every change is making the story and the writing better.

I'm kind of in the middle here - I do love the creative process, which for me, continues through the first few round of edits, but the process can also wear on me, becoming tedious and boring. There are only two times I truly hate revisions and edits, though. The first is when I need to make a plot or character change that's going to cause a ripple effect throughout the story. Making this one revision, whether big or small, means cleaning up several scenes, sometimes even adding a new one or completely rewriting one that I already loved. The job feels huge and daunting and I whine about how much I don't want to do it.

The other time I hate revisions and edits is far into the editing stage - that point where I thought I was done, but realize I need to make another pass or two through the manuscript. By this time, I hate - I mean, HATE - the book and the characters in it and I just want to kill them all off. I've read the story so many times that I think the whole thing sucks and I should simply trash it and this whole idea of being a writer because I'm really just a fraud. But when I'm done - well, I love the book and the characters all over again, and I know it's the best book it can possibly be. I learned a secret about how to handle this at the Heather Graham's Writers for New Orleans Workshop last week that I'll share when we get there.

But first, how does this all go together? How do I get from the first draft to that point of knowing I need to make plot or character revisions to the point of hating the book because I've read it so many times and then back to loving it? How do I know when I'm ready to hit the Publish button?

First of all, let me say that every book has been different. The writing process has varied, and so has the revision process. But I do follow a general progression of steps, which I'll outline here and we'll get into in subsequent blog posts.

Before I list those steps, though, I feel the need to define the difference between beta readers and critique partners. At least, this is the difference to me:

Critique partners are other writers (usually published now that I am) or editors who give me detailed feedback. I use them at different stages, which you'll see in a moment, so the kind of feedback may vary, but the point is that they're focusing on the craft of the story and the writing - the technicalities that readers don't specifically notice but know there's just something "wrong" there. My "critters" can explain what exactly is wrong or at least help me figure it out for myself.

Beta readers can be writers, but are also just readers who enjoy reading and can give good feedback on the story, but usually in more general terms. Sure, they'll point out a typo or grammar mistake, and they're really good for noticing inconsistencies (a character's eye color changes, for example, or their aunt has a different name later in the book). But they're also good for overall reaction. While my critters are focused on the trees, the betas can look at the forest. They can tell me if the plot makes sense or if there's a hole somewhere. They can tell me if they loved the whole thing, or liked certain parts but not others. They'll say, "I don't like this character. He rubs me the wrong way." But, compared to my critters, betas may not be able to pinpoint what it is that they love or don't like. They know a character gets on their nerves, but may not realize it's because the words or body language I've given him doesn't mesh with the character I'm trying to portray. Betas are often people with different perspectives - I get The Man's opinion from a male perspective; maybe someone who's familiar with a disorder one of my characters has to make sure I've kept it "real"; and, of course, avid readers who know when a story works and when a character is swoon-worthy.

Now, I do have what I call an alpha reader. She is also my business partner/co-publisher. She gets to read everything first, sometimes even before I do, and her primary function as the alpha is to serve as cheerleader and sometimes idea-bouncer-offer (she serves other roles later in the process). Choose this person carefully because he/she will probably read your book several times before it's ready to be published or submitted. You don't want them to hate you for putting them through that. (The Man will NEVER be an alpha reader for me. In fact, he doesn't get to read until the very end because he won't read it again to see how I addressed his feedback or to see how it's evolved. Then he talks about the book and he's wrong about half the things.) So, yeah, choose wisely.

Proofreaders, one more distinction I want to make, are reading specifically for typos, missing words, extra words, grammar mistakes and the like. They're also making sure that the last round of line edits didn't cause a sentence (or whole paragraph) to accidentally disappear. Yes, that's happened before.

Now onto my process. These are the steps I follow as soon as I complete the first draft in an ideal situation, but sometimes I have to combine some steps to be able to meet my deadlines.

1. Read-through while taking notes.
2. First round of revisions for plot.
3. Give to alpha to read and get feedback.
4. Second round of revisions for more plot issues based on alpha's feedback/brainstorming sessions, as well as character arc and development.
5. Give to critique partner(s) who I admire for their excellent plotting and character development.
6. Third round of revisions to address critters' feedback, as well as scrutinizing and fixing structure of scenes, chapters and paragraphs.
7. Fourth round of revisions for theme, descriptions and dialogue.
8. Give to first round of beta readers.
9. Fifth round (now called edits) addressing betas' feedback and polishing the writing.
10. Give to different critique partner(s) who I admire for beautiful writing and grammar technicalities.
11. Sixth round addressing critters' feedback and polishing the writing even more.
12. Give to second round of beta readers.
13. Sixth round of edits addressing any more betas' concerns, as well as combing for repetitive words and phrases and finding better ways of saying the same thing.
14. Give to line editor.
15. Fix line editor's issues.
16. One last read-through.
17. Give to proofreader.
18. Fix proofreader's issues.
19. If time allows, give to one more fresh set of eyes just to be sure nothing went wrong while fixing the proofreader's issues.
20. Collapse from exhaustion ... then celebrate.

We'll go through these in detail over the next several weeks. For now, if you haven't already, I recommend lining up your first round of critique partners and beta readers. And if you have an alpha reader, you can decide whether you're ready to let him/her read your baby yet or if you want to go through it at least once before slicing yourself open and exposing your soul er, sharing this little project you've been working on.

You Wrote a Book! Now What?

National Novel Writing Month (November) has ended and now there are people all over the world asking, "Now what? I wrote a whole book. What do I do next?"

Well, first, CELEBRATE!!! Finishing a book is a huge accomplishment. The saying goes that everyone has a book in them. That may be true, but not everyone wants to write a book. Of the millions of people who do want to write one, only a fraction actually start. And of those who start, only a small fraction actually finish. So you are basically one in a million! Or, at least, one in a hundred-thousand or so. Either way... Congratulations! Do a happy dance, have a few drinks, take a day or two to relax and say, "I did it."

Then it's time to get back to work. At least, if you have any desire at all of possibly pursuing publication. When I finished my very first draft of my very first book, I wasn't so sure about the publication thing. I didn't even know if I had something anyone but me would actually enjoy. I wrote that book solely for my pleasure, and the thought of sharing it with anyone was absolutely horrifying - worse than going into public naked. That was my very soul in those 180,000 words.

Yes, you read that right. I don't have a typo there. My first draft of my first book was a little over 180,000 words. That's basically the equivalent of two normal-length books. I didn't know that at the time. But I learned. And I revised and edited and revised and edited some more. Eventually, I realized it was two books, so I split and rewrote endings and beginnings and revised and edited some more. I (eventually) shared the new versions along the way. My poor business partner who became my publisher read about twenty versions of Promise and Purpose before they were ever ready for publication.

My point? You finished a book, but that doesn't mean it's time to hit the submit or publish button. I don't care who you are or if this is your first or thirty-first book. A first draft is also known as a rough draft for a reason - it's bumpy and choppy, jostling the reader about with its plot holes, lack of smooth transitions and sharp turns that make no sense. The writing is ugly and coarse, except for maybe a few gems that will probably need to be deleted anyway because they do nothing for the story (we call this killing your darlings).

Your book needs work. Lots of it. This is especially true after NaNo or any other time we shut down our inner editor and write with abandon.

I knew this when I finished my first whopper of a draft, if only because while I'd been writing it, more ideas had come to me that I wanted to go back in and add or change. But before I decided just how much more work I wanted to put into it, I needed to know if it would be worth it. I needed some validation. So when a couple of important people in my life wanted to see what I'd been so obsessed with for the previous six weeks, I sucked in a deep breath and tried not to puke when I handed my soul, er, I mean, manuscript over.

They liked it. They had some ideas. They asked questions that made me think and generate more ideas. I couldn't not work on it. I became a little braver and let more friends read the revised version (still one book, though), and this process continued for 18 months. That's right - I wrote the first draft of 180k in 6 weeks, but it was another year-and-a-half before Promise was ready to be published.

Finishing a first draft with a beginning, a middle and an end is a huge accomplishment, and for some, that's enough. They can cross that goal off their bucket list and move onto something new. But I think for most of us, the writing bug bites hard, and we can't just let it go. And even though there is still much work to do, and even though we may whine and gripe about how much we hate it (especially when we've gone through the book so many times, we'd rather stick needles under our fingernails than do it again), we also love it. This is our passion, and we want to share it with the world.

If this is your new goal - to share your book with the world - stay tuned. Over the next few weeks or so, I'll be sharing my revision and editing process. The good news? It doesn't take two years anymore. In fact, some people can complete the entire process in a couple of months. It takes me about six months from the first word to clicking the publish button now. Not as fast as some authors, but we're all different, and I think six months is about as fast as I'm comfortable with.

Before we dive in, you might be like me and want to know if you should even put more work into this thing you've created. If so, take the plunge and let one or two trusted friends read it. If they finish it in a decent timeframe, you have something worth working on. But even if they don't - even if they don't get back to you in months and skirt the question every time you ask, "So how do you like it?" - don't give up. Either get back to work on it or move onto the next project.

If writing is your passion, you'll keep going. And that's the real answer to the "Now what" question: keep writing.

That Fluttery Feeling

Do you get that fluttery, queasy feeling in your gut when crit partners return your story? You know, excited but sick-to-your-stomach nervous? You can't wait to see their reaction to the plot, to the characters, to the beginning, the middle and the end, to the twists and turns, etc. Do they love Mr. Hawtness as much as you do? Did they see that twist coming? Which lines made them laugh? Did they cry?

But for me, the most disconcerting question of all, especially while under deadline as I am now, is... How much more work do I need to do? Because, you know, in that first round, there's a lot. We like to think there isn't, that we're geniuses and hit it beautifully right out of the gate. But deep down we know better, so we know there's work coming. Just how much?

In the second round, we think we're pretty close. We've addressed everything from the first round, smoothed out our transitions with the new material, and, while we were at it, tightened up the writing. We think our plot is sound and our character arc develops well. Feedback from this round will let us know that we filled all the plot holes and/or that we created new ones. So we either have a long way to go still or...we don't.

In the third round, at least in my process, it's mostly about polishing the writing, clearing up any final loose ends, etc. Feedback from this round should, hopefully, be all about strengthening the writing and putting on a few last minute touches. The light is at the end of the tunnel. Right?

Well, this is how I'd like it to all go. But with each round, I just can't be sure. Changes after the first round might be so extensive that I've created all kinds of new problems that come back in the second round. Third round critters might find plot or character issues the first two rounds missed and now that they've been pointed out, I can't just leave them like that!

Aack! More work to do than I expected.

There's always more work to do than I expect. Just when I think it's perfect, something else is brought to my attention. I get to the point where I can't stand the story anymore and wish I'd never written it. Just the thought of looking at it again makes me want to vomit. So far in my experience, that's been the last round. It's just when I absolutely hate the story and never want anything to do with it again that it comes back clean. And then I realize how much better it is. And then I love it again.

Right now, I'm waiting on critters' feedback for GENESIS. Every time I hear the email dinging sound, my stomach drops to my knees, just knowing it's from a critter. Which is a little melodramatic, considering I get 100s of emails a day and 99% of them are not from critters. But I can't help it.

And when they are from a critter, my heart pounds, ready to sink when I see how many problems there are still to fix. With a deadline looming directly overhead, problems mean lots of coffee and late nights in my near future. So far, though, this round hasn't been too bad. Of course, they've just barely begun, so I'm not holding my breath. A lack of oxygen does nothing for that fluttery, queasy feeling but, perhaps, make it worse.

How do you feel when you get crit partner feedback? Do your emotions get all twisted in a bunch? Or are you just plain excited to hear back? Do you sit on top of the inbox, checking every 2 minutes or do you run and hide and pretend like the email isn't there until you know you must open it?

Back in the Swing

I made it home from a fun but exhausting road trip last week and the first thing I did after stepping off the airplane? We went to Apple and bought MacBook Pros. We'd hoped to do this before I left so I wouldn't have had so many problems while I was gone (and neither would my biz partner, who was left to run the companies with failing computers), but patience became a virtue. They say that happens. So although we had our computers picked out weeks ago, by waiting, we were able to get a better deal.

This weekend, I migrated most of my files (still having issues with Outlook - if anyone knows anything, please help! I'd love you forever!) and starting yesterday, I've been doing revisions on the Mac. It was the first time I'd been excited to do revisions in a long time. LOL It wasn't really any different - Word is still basically the same (though not exactly) - but it felt different. And fun.

But the best part was being productive again. I finished an entire chapter in GENESIS yesterday morning. In just a few hours. So much better! I just might make this deadline after all. Whew.

It's nice to be back in the swing of things. With all the excitement of real life behind me, including the fourth season of True Blood (awesome finale by the way!), I feel like I can see some kind of normalcy on the horizon. I don't know. We'll see. I just got my Pottermore access email yesterday, so... 

How are you doing? With summer and back-to-school behind us, are you settling into a routine? Or are you still reeling from it all? How do you ground yourself when chaos hits?

Writing on the Road

Since Friday, I've been in hotel rooms and family homes, some with good internet, most without. I've also spent over six hours a day in the car, driving only half the time. The plan was to get some writing - well, revising - done whenever I had a chance. Things haven't gone as planned. Go figure.

My failing laptop only has a battery life of about an hour these days, so just as I'm getting my groove on in the car, the screen goes black. By the time my brain wakes up enough in the morning to even focus on revising, it's time to check out and hit the road again. And then by the time we check into our room, eat dinner, settle in for the evening, check email and get caught up, I'm too exhausted to focus for long.

Obviously, these are excuses. Except the dead battery - I really can't revise without power. But if I'd been drafting, this would definitely just be an excuse because there are, of course, these objects called pen and paper. I know many of you draft with these instruments and then later type your new chapters. My writing hand just can't keep up with my brain nearly as well as my typing fingers can, so I don't do it often. But it's possible.

Anyway...excuses. That's what these are. To be professional writers, we have to condition ourselves to be able to write (or revise) under any conditions. After all, part of the profession is touring and we need to be able to do our work in the car, on a plane, in a hotel room or anywhere else. Because deadlines don't stop their fast approaches just because we aren't home. Publishers expect us to go on the road, but they also still expect that next book to be done according to contract.

It doesn't matter that I'm indie. I still have a commitment to my business partner and others - most importantly, readers! - to produce a book by the date I said I would. Indie writers have more leeway than contracted authors, but that doesn't give us a free pass. We still have to do our job. We still have to meet our responsibilities, whether it's to ourselves, to our supporters or to our readers.

So I'm working on eliminating these excuses and getting my job done, even while traveling, visiting and sight-seeing. If you have any tips, I'd greatly appreciate it!


Where do you usually write? Can you write anywhere, despite distractions, or do you need your special writing place to focus? Have you ever written while traveling? How did it go?

What Does "Kill Your Darlings" Mean?

We've heard it time and again - "Kill Your Darlings!" It sounds like such a psychotic phrase. Kill my darlings? As in my babies? These sweet little things I'd give my life for?

No, no, NO! Not your human darlings. Sheesh.

So what darlings are we talking about? Your writing darlings. (Which can sometimes feel like our human babies, I know, but they're not really. Human, I mean. You know that, right?) I've discovered over the years that this phrase has several different meanings.

Killing the Darlings Everyone Loves
I think the first time I ever heard "Kill Your Darlings" was a quote from Agatha Christie and I totally thought she meant your best characters must die. I mean, she's a murder mystery writer, so it makes sense, right? I don't know if this is what she meant, but since hearing it several years ago, I've noticed how the really good, gut-wrenching stories kill off at least one character we fall in love with. Or, if you're J.K. Rowling, you kill off at least 20% of the cast, breaking our hearts.

By doing so, though, Rowling deepened our emotional investment. She made us love, she made us lose and she made us hurt. She's merciless! But in a good way because these losses strengthened our love, empathy, support and even hate - the same feelings as the characters - making us part of the story. If we can kill one of our darling characters in our books and make the reader feel it, we pull them deeper into our world, giving that immersion experience they seek from books.

Killing the Darlings the Writer Loves
These are the darlings the experts teach us to kill - the parts of our book we love so much but do nothing for the story. Whether it's a paragraph with exceptionally beautiful writing - our best ever! - or a lovely scene depicted brilliantly, we love these babies so much, we can't bear the thought of hitting the delete button. But if they do nothing for the story, we must bring ourselves to kill them. If that's a little too drastic for you faint-of-heart, you can just cut it and paste it into a standby document. Then you know it's there, in safe keeping, to visit whenever you wish. Just don't put it back!

Killing the Darlings Who Don't Belong
This third meaning just made itself clear to me while revising Genesis. I have a character who I - and my betas - absolutely adore, but he has to go. At least, his POV does. He plays an important role in the story, but his part of the narration just isn't necessary, bogging down and detracting from the true story of Genesis. As much as we all love his part of the tale, I've had to take it out. From this book, anyway. I think he'll have his own story - at least a short one - soon.

This meaning isn't just about POV, though. We often have multiple supporting characters in our first drafts that only lead to confusion in the reader, who's trying to keep track of all these names when half of them never return. Combine them. Get rid of some. No matter how much you love them, they're not helping your story. This goes for subplots, too, that relate in no way to the main plot and only clutter the story. If you love those side characters so much that you want to give them their own plot line, then do it - in a different book.

We writers pour our hearts and souls into our stories. We have lots of darlings. Can you think of other darlings we must kill to improve our stories? Do you have any you've had to kill that hurt more than others? Do you keep your little darlings in a back-up file and go back and read them because they make you happy? Or is that just me?

Story Comes First

Katie at Creepy Query Girl and I must have been on the same page this weekend. Or in the same book. Or maybe not, since there are a lot of published books that could be counted in our thoughts. What are those thoughts?

That story comes first, then comes the writing. Katie says premise. Same diff, in this case.

I was reading a book this weekend by a major author who's been published several times. TV programs have been made from her books. This is no small-time, self-published author. And there are phrases such as:

He whispered  in an urgent voice.

'Any questions?' Heads were shaken.

And the drawing--the drawing was even more horrible. It was...grotesque.

What a wonderful place. [Not dialogue or thought, but prose, followed by nothing showing how it's wonderful.]

On one page, I counted 7 "was"s and 4 "very"s. While describing a Rottweiler, its shoulders sank, its muzzle drooped and its tail tucked between its legs (Rotts don't have tails). There's an adverb on nearly every dialogue tag (and just about every line has a tag).

Another book I read nearly a year ago that became a NYT Bestseller, includes countless phrases such as "I could hear...", "I could feel...", "I saw...", "I decided..." and "I realized..." Lots of showing rather than telling and even more "was"s and "that"s. In fact, "was" and "that" make numerous unnecessary appearances in almost every book I read.

I've read the first of bestselling Amanda Hocking's self-published books and there are more than a few typos. She's said she hired an editor, but, sadly, she didn't get her money's worth. But the story was still good. And when Hocking signed on with St. Martin's, one of the publishers said they wanted her work because she was an excellent story teller.

In other words, story comes first. Then comes writing and everything else.

I haven't finished the book in my first example, but I can vouch for this in the second example and Hocking's. And I'm not saying any of these books were poorly written. In fact, two of them were very well written. They just needed some polishing.

Others, however, are absolutely awful enough that they detract from the reading experience. As in Katie's example, you just can't stand to finish it. And in that case, who cares if the story is even good? You've read those, right? And wonder how on earth those books even got published?

The moral here is to keep weeding out those "was"s and "very"s and "that"s, but remember that story is most important. It doesn't matter if your book doesn't have a single "was" or "that." If the story's lame, it won't sell. But if you have a strong story, you can be forgiven for the little things.

It Worked!

My little experiment worked! Or at least, something did. I finally finished draft two of Genesis.

Will I use this method before the first draft, as Whitcomb does? Meh, probably not. I'm too much of a pantser to use it for every scene, especially if not written yet. But it is a new tool to add to my writer's toolbox.

Maybe it'll help you, too. Let me know if you give it a try. I'd love to hear your results.

Have you discovered any new tools lately? How did they work out for you?

Oh, the Pain and Suffering!

Okay, maybe the title's a little melodramatic. Then again, maybe not. I'm in the midst of the second draft of GENESIS. Uh, yeah, the novella that's supposed to be out in a few months. And I really need to get it to crit-partners ASAP if I'm ever going to make that deadline.

I'm at a point, however, where I feel like I've been cut open and my insides have been pulled out and twisted around, kind of like that scene in "Braveheart." Except they're also being stuffed back in, but won't fit. Yes, it's quite painful! Not to mention gross. This is also where I am with revisions of DEVOTION - the reason I put it aside for a while to focus on GENESIS.

Both have a couple scenes that just aren't working. They need to be completely rewritten with different scenes that accomplish the same goals as the originals, only better. But if I make them too different, characters' behaviors and reactions to those scenes will change, causing a ripple effect throughout the rest of the book. Other parts would need to be changed as a result. Changes I don't like. I don't think. I don't know. And that indecision just causes more pain and suffering and indecision. It's an evil cycle, I tell you.

You probably know, having gone through it yourself. So I'm giving a new approach a try. I'm reading Novel Shortcuts: Ten Techniques That Ensure a Great First Draft by Laura Whitcomb. She's developed a process for herself called "shortcuts to the scene" that I'm going to give a try. I think it's a little too structured for my pants-favoring self, at least to do before the first draft, but I think it will help me write these scenes. Here are the steps, using a blank sheet of paper or screen:

1. Write a paragraph about what must happen in this scene - "the goal, the conflict, what will remain unresolved." This includes both internal and external actions.
2. List what must be said - the dialogue. You don't have to write it word for word, but get down what needs to be said. Don't use tags, just initials for who needs to say it. Whitcomb suggests making this a different font (or color, if doing this by hand) or, at least, bold it.
3. Do a ten-minute "heartstorm." It's like a brainstorm, but using the heart, not the head. "Feel the scene, the emotions, the sensations, the wonder.... Think of the emotions involved, the smells, tastes, scents, textures, sounds." Like brainstorming, this isn't a time to judge or censor. Just get it out. Then you highlight or bold 10 or more of your favorite phrases, making them stand out.
4. Now print (if you did this in Word), lay the page (yes, it should be just one page) next to your keyboard and use it as a cheat-sheet. She calls it a "menu" - she orders something from one of the three parts to open the scene and then pulls together the pieces she needs to write out the entire scene. The dialogue, in its different font or color, stands out so she can refer to it easily. The key phrases she wants to use from the heartstorm are also easy to see.

I don't know if it'll work well for me or not, but I think since I already know what must happen in this scene because of what's already happened in the rest of the book, it just might be what I need to get beyond this indecision. I hope. I'll let you know how it goes.

It would be nice to feel comfortably whole again, intestines intact. 

Are rewrites as painful for you as they are for me? Do you have any special process or technique that helps you get through them? If so, please share! What do you think of Whitcomb's "shortcuts to the scene"?

Pretty Good, Really Good or Great?

I've been reading a lot of "meh" books lately. In fact, I'm starting to wonder if it's really the books or if I've just been in one of those moods. You know, kind of like those times when we don't feel pretty (I say pretty because I don't think guys go through those mood swings, at least not as much. Either they know they're good looking or they know they're not. None of that, "I don't feel handsome today." Right?) Anyway...ladies, you now what I mean. We just don't feel it. So maybe I just haven't been feeling the books.

But I know that's not entirely it. After all, a really great book would have pulled me out of this funk by now. So why are these books "meh"? They're by seasoned writers who've had great books before and have gone through the editing process with big-name publishers. I don't understand how they've been allowed - or have allowed themselves - to release these mediocre stories.

Or maybe I do. As discussed previously, I'm in the midst of revising Devotion (did you see that new title???). I read it through a couple weeks ago and thought, "Wow. This isn't bad. In fact...it's even kind of good." I mean, I knew it wasn't perfect. Not even close. Parts needed to come out. Characters needed more depth. Descriptions needed to be improved. And so did the writing. But, overall, I was happy with the plot.

See that "was"? Yeah...in the time since then, I keep coming up with more ideas to make it even better. New twists. Something about a character I missed before that changes things. Etc. Ideas that will require a lot more work than I thought when I first read the draft. A lot more time. A lot more blood, sweat and tears. When I first read the draft, I thought, "Looks like revisions will go quicker than expected." Now, I think (and tell my publisher), "Well, revisions are going to take longer than expected."

But, to me, it's worth it. I hate putting a book out there that I know I'll be thinking, "But it could have been so much better." I mean, I think we all feel that way about earlier writings, when time has passed and we've learned and grown in our craft. But when it first goes out, we want it to be our best work we could produce at the time. Right?

So how could all those "meh" books be on the shelves? I mean, the stories aren't bad. The characters are likeable and relatable. There's just not a lot of "great" or even "really good" about them. Even when the same author has produced really great before. All I can wonder - and maybe it is just because I am in that mood - is if the publisher or author rushed it. Didn't want to put the time and effort into making the book truly great or, at least, really good.

I don't ever want to be that author or publisher. The one that says, "It's pretty good. Good enough." I want to feel, at least in my own heart, that it's really good. Or, even, great. And, hopefully, others will feel the same.

What do you think makes books "meh"? Do you ever feel like taking the short cut or not taking the long way because it's easier (in your writing)? How do you motivate yourself to do what's best for the story, even if it means a lot more work? And what would/do you do when under deadline and you realize how the book can be even better but it would require significant (time-consuming) changes?

Let the Revising Begin...Any Time Now

After a few days of no writing or revising - not even a peek into a file - today was the day to start revising Book 3. I've been excited to get back to Alexis and Tristan's world after six weeks in the world of the novella and I made allowed myself a break over the weekend, upping the can't-wait-to-get-started factor. I expected to bound out of bed this morning, too excited to sleep and ready to get to work.

Except I couldn't. I awoke and just lay there, wondering what on earth I was supposed to do. I drew a total blank on the revision process. I've been thinking all along that I need to start by simply printing it out so I can read through the story - the plot - without editing the writing along the way. But, for some reason, that made no sense to me this morning. I already know some parts that need to come out and others that need to be developed better. Why waste the paper and toner now?

So I thought about just diving in. Open the file and get to work. But that made no sense either. It's been a while since I've worked on this project. I've never read it start to finish. I don't really know the story as a whole - not well enough to know what parts should be moved around, what's been repeated, what's not necessary.

I felt so lost. I felt like a writer-baby who'd never done this in her life. Was this reviser's block? Is there such a thing?

If there is, the answer to overcoming it is the same as overcoming writer's block. Just do it. Do something. Get started. Once you get going, it eventually comes to you. It's physics - an object in motion stays in motion and one that's not in motion...well, isn't doing anything (very scientific there, I know - brownies in place of cookies, please).

Whether writing or revising, we have to put ourselves in motion. We have to type out some words or scrawl them in a notebook. We have to simply start reading and thinking about the story and how to make it better. At some point, momentum builds and we overcome that block. We get down to business. And before we know it, we're on our way to accomplishing great things.

Well...I don't know if I'm on my way to the great things just yet, but I did finally get started today. I decided to stick with the plan and print it out and read through it. This phase of the revision process allows me to absorb the entire story and make notes on what needs to be changed, only focusing on plot right now. Reading it on paper prevents me from actually changing anything yet, because there's no point in rewriting something that might not be there next week.

I just had to make the decision to do something and then put myself in motion by starting to read. Once I started to read the first couple paragraphs, I knew what I needed to do and the momentum has built. So...I'm off to do some more reading and scribbling.

How do you overcome writer's block? Have you ever had reviser's block?

Novella Done! And Now for My Next Trick...

Finally! The novella is done!

It took a lot longer to finish this novella than expected. I mean, it's barely 60,000 words. It took me longer to write it than it did to write the 124,000 +/- words of the first draft of Promise & Purpose. But it's done. (Did you feel that breeze Wednesday afternoon? That was me letting out a major sigh of relief.) And hopefully it won't need nearly as much work as Promise and Purpose did.

Because, of course, it's the best thing I've ever written. I'm allowed to think that for now. I get a few days to bask in that glory. But that's it.

Then it's time to move on to the next trick. Well, actually, to go back to the previous one. Back to Book 3 for rewrites and revisions. Since it's had to sit and stew for much longer than expected, my brain should be good and ready to work on it. After the brain gets acclimated.

I had fun meeting new characters and learning about them and their world, but it'll be nice to get back to the "known" - Alexis, Tristan and all the other characters I know so well. Also the "known" as in today's world. The novella takes place over 2,000 years ago. So now I have to fast-forward to...now. Get re-oriented with the modern world. Remind myself that they have cell phones and running water and don't eat with their fingers. Well, most of them don't. Some just eat with their fangs. Haha!

Anyway, I expect it might be a bit of a challenge. I've never done such an about face. And it's been a long time since I've started revisions from the first draft. Since I shared all my woes and joys of new writing methods with these two stories, I imagine next I'll be sharing what I learn with new revising methods.

So...here I go! Wish me luck. And speed. I need speed. Definitely getting behind on deadlines.

How do you handle switching between such different projects? Do you enjoy the change-up? Or does it take time to get back into each world? Or do you stay with the same story from beginning to end and avoid the confusion altogether?

Perfectionism or Procrastination?

So, the other day I was complaining about never being done, even when you think you are. Typos pop up out of nowhere. Words lose their italics or get italicized when they're not supposed to be. Someone bends over at the "waste"...um, yeah, that happened, even after several rounds of revisions.

Then a funny thing happened. Not "haha" but more like, "a-ha." After I made that post, I added excerpts to the Purpose website. And because Word adds in all kinds of bogus HTML (if anyone can tell me how to avoid that, I'd love you forever!!), I had to go through the excerpts line-by-line to remove the unnecessary and cluttery tags.

As I'm doing that, a couple phrases pop out at me. And I'm suddenly thinking of a better way to say them. Not able to control myself, I make the changes. Then go back into the Word and PDF docs to make the changes there, too. Now I have an itch to go through the whole book to make sure there aren't other phrases that could be even better. Because I know there are.

I also went into Promise's excerpts and reformatted that page. And it happened again. I didn't make the changes, though. I wanted to. So very badly. But the book is published and I just need to keep it the way it is. It bugs the crap out of me, though. And this was my a-ha moment.

Actually, I've had this conversation with other writers, published and not, so it wasn't really an "a-ha" moment as it was a reminder. As writers, we (hopefully) are continuously growing, learning and improving our craft. We will always go back and look at something we wrote and have ideas to make it even better. A different word. A more compelling way to phrase something. Perhaps even a whole scene or chapter that could be removed or improved.

No matter how good we thought it was then, at a later time, we see how it can be even better. This will always be true. So at some point, we do have to call the work done. We have to move on to the next step, whatever it is for each of us. Because if we keep trying to make this one perfect, we'll never get to the next one. And who wants to work on the same story their entire life? Not me. I have too many others I need to get out of my head.

Do you find yourself nit-picking? Is it because the story really isn't ready? Or is it because you're being a perfectionist? Or perhaps because you're procrastinating, afraid of the next step (i.e., querying or the next blank page 1)?

Feeling It…Or Not

This week is crazy-busy with dayjob business and a little fun Wednesday night – 30 Seconds to Mars at the House of Blues in Orlando. I’m terribly excited for this concert. I fell in love with the band about a year or so ago, while writing my first novel. Their newest album could be the soundtrack for the third book, which has been started but put on the back burner.

Right now, I’m working on fleshing out the new PURPOSE. It’s funny how things have evolved since I first decided to write fiction again. I started with a character sketch and free-writing and it grew out of control, like a snowball during the Snowpocalypse. The first scene I wrote, which was just as an exercise, became the basis for what will be the new PURPOSE. It’s nothing like it was then. The characters didn’t even have names yet and now their story has changed almost completely, but the premise remains.

As it started coming to me, I realized I needed to know the story behind the story. It was originally just for my own benefit, but so much happened that I needed it for the rest of the “real” story to make sense. So, it became Part I. And now it has become PROMISE, a book by itself. I see PROMISE as a prologue to the rest of the series, though it is an interesting, fun, romantic and exciting tale of its own.

In PROMISE, Alexis starts at eighteen, fresh out of high school, relatively naïve and innocent. By the end, she’s twenty and “all grown up.” PURPOSE picks up later and she’s in the middle of a personal crisis. It’s an extremely emotional time for her and the first ten (or a hundred) times I went through this part, I felt just as emotionally caught up in it and was drained by the time I pushed through it. Even when it had set for a month or more, I’d still feel the emotional turmoil she was going through when I went back to it.

Now it’s set for nearly two months while I’ve been busy preparing PROMISE for publication. And I’m having a hard time getting caught up in the chaos of her life. I think it’s because my own life is so chaotic right now, but in a good way, where in hers, it’s not so good. I’m too distracted to immerse myself fully into her head and heart.

For now, it’s okay. By being able to look at it more objectively, I’m able to see what scenes can be or need to be moved around, expanded, heightened, etc., to create the full plot and character arcs for a book. Being able to add 30,000 words to a manuscript is like putting me in a candy store. I’m a (not-so-recovering) wordaholic. I usually have to cut, cut, cut. Now I get to add, add, add. But just because I get to write so many new, shiny words, doesn’t mean every single one doesn’t need to count. So, being able to view the story from this distant perspective is a good thing. For now.

I just hope when it comes to actually writing those new words I can re-enter Alexis’s mind and heart. I made my first readers cry. I want to make them cry harder…not yawn or (gasp!) throw the book down out of annoyance or boredom. They need to feel what she is feeling, which means I must feel it first.

Have you ever found yourself not quite feeling the intensity that is necessary for the task at hand? It doesn’t even have to be writing or revising. Various areas of our lives and jobs require different levels of emotions and involvement. What do you do to become more immersed in the moment or situation? How do you put yourself in the right emotional and mental state?

*Image found here: http://dark.pozadia.org/wallpaper/Emotional-Darkness/ 

Earth-Shattering Decisions

Well, earth-shattering in my world anyway. I’ve made two decisions this past week that completely change my writing life. And I feel really good about both of them. I’ve been contemplating both for some time and I came to their realizations within a few hours of each other. Coincidence? I think not. I believe that they work together to finally launch my stories into the world. I’m excited and scared at the same time…excited because my stories will go beyond a tight circle of friends and into the world and scared because of the risks and the potential changes to my and others’ lives.

Get on with it already, right? Stop blabbering and tell us! Okay, here goes, my public announcement (and don’t forget…these are BIG to me, but probably not to many others, so be prepared for disappointment LOL)…

My First Major Decision

As I’ve been writing here, on Facebook and Twitter, I’ve been working on rewrites of PURPOSE, primarily the first 75 pages. Many times I thought the novel was done. I even queried agents, only to receive rejections or no responses. My queries were pretty sucky because I had a hard time pitching the story. I couldn’t decide the real main plot line to focus on, what makes the story stand out from all the others. That was my first clue.

I still have a partial out with an agent (sent in November!), but I don’t expect to receive good news. Because I know now it wasn’t the best it could be when I sent that out. The beginning still just wasn’t right. I’ve also known all along that PURPOSE was entirely too long as a debut novel and this became clearer after learning more and more about story structure and publishing. So, back to rewrites and edits.

But every time I tightened everything up, I felt like I lost something in my characters and the story. I often wondered if I should just break the novel into two, but I couldn’t completely grasp that idea. First, I felt like this was the story given to me and I needed to stay true to it. Second, I didn’t know where to break it up. Where could I build in a climax earlier in the book? There were a couple obvious places, but I had good reasons for rejecting those ideas without further thought. Third, I also LOVE the ending to PURPOSE. It’s epic. It’s beautiful. And it leaves the reader wanting for more. If I broke the novel into two, the first one wouldn’t have nearly as great of an ending as PURPOSE.

But I finally realized this week that I’ve actually already written two novels. There are two great story lines in the current PURPOSE, which is why I couldn’t focus on one for querying purposes or for rewrites. So, PURPOSE is now my second book. The first one remains unnamed, although I have a pretty good idea. When I feel positive about it, I’ll announce it. The best thing is, once I made this decision, the responses to my above objections came loud and clear: 1) I can still stay true to the story. It will just be better. 2) The best breaking point is painfully obvious, and I really mean painfully. For the few who’ve already read PURPOSE, you have a good idea of where the first book will end. And yes, my readers may hate me for it, but they’ll be begging for the next book. And 3) Ideas for the climactic scene to the first book came rushing through me and I could barely get them scribbled on paper fast enough to keep up. And it’s going to be just as epic as PURPOSE’s ending. I can’t wait to actually write it!

My Second Major Decision

This one can be chalked up to what I’ve always considered as character flaws: impatience and my need for control. These flaws were exactly why I hadn’t decided this earlier, like nearly a year ago when I first thought about it. I told myself I needed to be more patient and more willing to give up control because it would be best for the books and my writing career. A lot has changed since then, though, including even more impatience and a stronger need for control. So, I’ve decided to go Indie…as in independently publishing my books.

It’s not that I don’t think a traditional publisher will eventually pick me up. I’m just not willing to wait for that to happen. It could be months or years. And even if someone bought the rights tomorrow, the first book likely wouldn’t hit the shelves until 2012! Yes, two years from now! And I’d still be responsible for the majority of the marketing and publicity…for making the sales. Publishers just don’t have the money to put into debut novelists these days. I completely understand their situation, but I’m not going to fall victim to it.

Besides, self-publishing means I control everything, from the cover to the interior formatting to the release date. Well, not me alone. They will be team decisions. Because I’m not doing this on my own.

I am blessed to have a great supportive network that believes in me and my books. We’ve already started discussing the plan for publishing the first book, which we’re targeting for a June 2010 release. Yes…just a few short months from now, not years. That’s why I’m scared! LOL But this will be good, not just for me, but for others, too. I believe in our abilities as a team and I’m really looking forward to this.

I’ll be writing a lot here about this incredible journey. For now, though, I must go write that new ending. Can’t wait for you to read it!

Chuck It All

Let me start off by saying that when I started this blog (actually, many moons before, fighting the idea with claws and fangs out), I had two fears: 1) I had nothing interesting to say and would bore the tears out of my readers; and 2) not enough time. The good news is I’ve created this great list of blog topics that continues to grow every day and each idea sounds more exciting than the others, all vying for my attention. Of course, they’re fighting PURPOSE, its sequel, my day job and that herd of monsters for that attention. Which brings me to the second fear: time is more precious than any other resource in this world – you can’t discover more, make more, clone more or even buy more (though you can pay others to do things, freeing up your time…but we still all have the same number of hours in each day). And this is my long-winded explanation for why I haven’t posted in a week.

I’ve chosen to spend my time back on PURPOSE. Yes, I thought it was done. Many times. And even right now, if an agent or editor requested the entire manuscript, I’d send it to them. But I don’t know that I can ever really say it’s “done.” My (yet-to-be) agent might. My editor might. My publisher definitely will at some point so it can be printed. But even ten years after it’s published, I will find ways to make it better. I’m definitely my worst enemy and my worst critic.

So I’m once again studying, analyzing, brainstorming and finding ways to make PURPOSE even better. I’ve learned so much over the last year about character development, dialogue, plotting, conflict, tension and story arcs. And some things I’ve learned more recently have led me to realize that PURPOSE can be better, with an even stronger main character and a tighter plot. As long as it’s not contracted to go to print, I’ll continue working on it, making it the best story it can be.

“Why bother?” you may ask. So many people with whom I’ve spoken about my book admire the accomplishment in just finishing it. Many say they could never stick with a project for so long, giving it so much time when the reward may never come. Writers and editors even recommend new authors stuff their first novels in a drawer and move on to the next…and the next…until they have actually written something worth publishing, because the first one is never good enough. And maybe not the second. And some people even say, “maybe it’s time to just chuck it all and be happy with the day job.” Even writers consider this for themselves when they hit that creative brick wall, can’t trap that elusive muse or are unable to attract the attention of an agent or publisher.

I, personally, cannot imagine chucking it all. Give up on my PURPOSE? No way in hell. And I’m not slaving away on it for the money or fame. Yes, I’d like to see it published so others can meet Alexis and Tristan and hopefully fall in love with them. So they can experience the ups and downs and twists and turns of the story. So they can close the book at the end, wipe the tears from their eyes and say aloud, “I can’t wait to see what happens next!”

But more than anything, I do it because I love it. I love writing, yes. But I love PURPOSE itself. I love my characters. I love the overall story. I want it to be the best it can absolutely be, even if my only readers are family and friends. Because I started this story for myself – what I wanted to read, a world I wanted to discover, characters I wanted to befriend.

It’d be great to share them with the world. But until that time comes, I will be polishing and perfecting. And I will never chuck it. I can’t even imagine having such a thought.