Procrastination...or Funk?

I’m procrastinating. In fact, the only reason I’m actually writing this right now is because my Internet connection has gas (I’m writing this in Word, which, unfortunately for me at the moment, doesn’t require me to be connected).  So I can’t be distracted by all the other blogs I’m behind on reading, Twitter or Facebook…or tons of other ways to get lost in the Netterworld. Which I’ve been doing all evening up until now.

Instead of pretending to be doing something productive, I’m left sitting here wondering why I’m not really being productive. There are a zillion-and-one things to do and most of them I’m excited about because they have to do with the release of my book. But I just can’t get enthused right now. I think I’m in a funk. But I’m not sure because if I am, it’s a little, teeny-tiny funk. Just a microscopic feeling that something’s not right. So what is it?

Well, I finished writing an end to the new first book, which for now is titled PATIENCE. It’s in the hands of a couple critters (critiques) and I’m not touching it until I get their feedback. Which means I’m not writing, nor have a plan to write, for the first time in over a year. Is this the reason for my little funk? I don’t know. If so, it could be easily resolved, because I need to write some new scenes for PURPOSE to flesh it out as its own book. But I’m not feeling it. And that’s saying something because I LOOOOVE PURPOSE. I can’t wait to work on it again.

The problem is PATIENCE just doesn’t feel right without PURPOSE and vice-versa. Perhaps this is the cause of my funk. For those of you who don’t know, PURPOSE was my first and only completed novel. It was long and actually had two stories within it, though, so I broke it into two books. PATIENCE is the first part of the old PURPOSE. The new PURPOSE is the story I originally started with, but it needed PATIENCE to lead up to it. Are you confused yet? I think I am. Probably because I’m struggling with it being split.

I think this is something I just have to get over, because I have very good reasons for making it two books. They’ll each have more focus, which is evidenced because it’s easier for me to describe what they’re about than it was to describe what PURPOSE was about. My hope is that PATIENCE draws the readers in and PURPOSE captures their hearts, because the third book is already half-written and there are more to come.

There are also logistics. Publishing a 500-600 page book is expensive and a little scary, even when doing it on my own. As an Indie, I can make the book however long I want, but how many people would buy a 600-page trade paperback (6x9, the larger ones) for $16-$18? Especially if they’ve never heard of the author? Perhaps some family and a few friends…but would they get their friends to buy it? Would you buy a paperback for that much if your friend recommended it? What if you just saw it on the bookshelf or Amazon while browsing? Yeah, it’s kind of hard to swallow. But that’s what it’d have to be just for me to do a little better than break even.

Of course, if you like PATIENCE, you’ll end up spending more total, but at least you could check it out for several bucks less…just in case you don’t like it. Which I know you will. But just because I know that and even some of you know that, doesn’t mean Jane Smith in Wisconsin does. Know what I mean? So yes, splitting the book also has to do with marketing.

But, in my heart, it’s one story. It’s meant to be read as one story. And when you get to the end of PATIENCE, you’ll want to keep reading the rest of that one story. It has a cliffhanger ending and there are too many loose ends. So, I’ll just have to spread the word that they’re meant to be read together. Of course, in my heart, I know they’re both part of one bigger story with even more parts that have yet been told. And eventually, they’ll all be meant to be read together.

Maybe I just need to change my perspective and get over this. And get excited to release PATIENCE…and to finish and release PURPOSE. So why am I still more excited for that second part – the release of PURPOSE – than I am for the first part? Is something/someone trying to tell me something? Grrrrr!!! I feel no better than when I started writing this. I think I need to procrastinate more. My Internet connection must have taken some Pepto because it’s working now…maybe tomorrow I’ll figure out the reason for the funk. Yes, even procrastinating on that. See ya in the Netterworld.