Saturday, May 1, 2010

Last Lines Blogfest

Today is the Last Lines Blogfest! Check out the others over here at Lilah Pierce's blog. Thanks, Lilah, for hosting this!

Edited to add: Charity Bradford is hosting a 50 Followers Blogfest today, too. I didn't think I really had anything good to contribute to her theme of baking, but, hey, my characters below do discuss eating. It's just that the steaks end up in the fridge for the following night. If anything, I just wanted to give a little shout-out to Charity's Blogfest and help a friend out. ;-)

This was really hard to choose what to post. Some of my best last lines gave too much away. But I finally decided on this, an excerpt from PURPOSE, book two of my series.

Wow, you look…” Owen was caught off guard when I called for him. I flashed him my best smile. He narrowed his eyes and said flatly, “You’re not going anywhere.”
I tried to act casual. “Of course not. I was just tired of looking like a frump. I feel good. I finished the book.”

He smiled. “Great! Now we wait for it to be published and let it do its thing.”

“But we can celebrate now,” I said suggestively.

He looked surprised, the sapphire eyes wide, eyebrows raised. “You and me?”

“That’s all we have right now, right? Why not? If you get some steaks and the trimmings, I’ll cook. And we need some wine, of course.”

He frowned. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. We need to be completely alert.”

I pretended to pout. “Just a glass. Just for a toast to the Amadis and whatever it is they have planned.”

He studied my face. I really wasn’t trying to seduce him. Honestly. I just needed him to disappear for a while…just long enough. I smiled warmly at him.

“Okay,” he finally agreed. “You stay here. I’ll be back in ten or fifteen minutes.”

I followed him out the door and watched him walk down the driveway, into the brush and disappear. As soon as he was gone, I jumped into the Ferrari and took off, my heart pounding with anxiety and fear. I’d left the keys in there earlier, knowing I needed every second I could get when the opportunity arose. I sped down the highway, clearing as much distance as possible before Owen returned and found me gone. Guilt pierced my conscience when I thought of him searching for me. But I had to do it. At least he wouldn’t be left heartbroken and helpless like I had been. I just hoped he wouldn’t immediately guess where I headed, but would think I went after my family. Because once he knew, he would be there in a flash.

20 comments:

  1. you've got me hooked already. nice work. i played along on my blog, too.

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  2. Oooo, I want to know what's going on. Very nice all around.

    Thanks for the shout out as well. ;)

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  3. Yup, no need to say goodbye.
    I want a Ferrari as my getaway car!
    Nice job.

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  4. Ok, I want that car and I want to know what led to this. Great job hooking me and reeling me in. :)

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  5. Oh yeah! I can see that scene and the one that will inevitably follow. Well written. :)

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  6. Oh, gosh, I want to know what happens next. And where is she going in that Ferrari??

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  7. OK, I'm supposed to sympathize with the mc, but she took the FERRARI? I'd be after her in a minute, too! ;-b

    Love this! Tension is great, but there's a wry aspect to the writing that gives it a good voice.

    Nicely done!

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  8. Wow. Where's she headed? I really like that she nabbed the Ferrari ;~) This kept me on the edge of my seat all the way through. Nice :~D

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  9. Great tension - I want to know where she's going! And why she left poor Owen behind. :( Great job!

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  10. If you're going to make a dash for it, then a FERRARI is the thing to take. I like how you twisted our expectations on their ear.

    The only suggestion is that I would break up the last big paragraph into two smaller ones, making your words more easily digestible. James Patterson is popular for a reason.

    But that is just my thought. Heaven knows how often I've been wrong. I really enjoyed your last lines. You drew us in, making the thoughts and actions flow smoothly.

    Well done, Roland

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  11. Well done, you. I'm hooked. Where is she going she shouldn't be? And why deceive Owen? I know she's not doing a runner just for the Ferrari, although that would be reason enough. :)

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  12. Love it! I definitely want more! Great job, and thanks for participating!

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  13. Excellent flow....I wanted to read more!!!

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  14. Oh man, not going to family, speeding away in a hot car...she played that so cool with him. Great post, interesting characters.

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  15. Oh yeah, the speedy sports car and the dangerous/naughty destination. Great last lines.

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  16. Ok, you got me. I started reading and I honestly, thought, hmm another typical husband and wife scene. But NO! Awesome. You surprised me. I LOVE being surprised. :)

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  17. I've got a soft spot for men named Owen, so I hope these two work it out! I would have kept reading :)

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  18. Very interesting. I want to know why she had to run away. :)

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  19. Thank you, everyone, for reading and commenting...and liking! :) These were the last lines of a chapter (obviously not the end of a book - I couldn't/wouldn't do that to you!). I thought about posting the first lines of the next chapter, but it might give too much away. So, you'll just have to wait to find out why she leaves and where she's going...and if she makes it back alive (and human). ;-)

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  20. You know, part of me really doesn't like reading excerpts/teasers from books that are yet to be released. Because it makes me too impatient at the long, looming wait ahead until I can finally read the whole thing. How you tease us so! Great last lines!! I really want to know where she's headed. Why Owen won't let her. What's going to happen next. Ah!

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